Camp Tugalo Men's Retreat

Tonight a few guys from work will be going with me to a place called "Camp Tugalo" on Lake Louise in Toccoa. We first took the trip back in 2006 and have been going every year since then in the fall, except last year (although I did go with another group of men away from work). We decided this year to go in the Spring.

For a couple of years before our annual retreat we were having Bible studies at work on a weekly or every other week basis. From there we started thinking about 'events' to get away from the office for fellowship and discipleship purposes.

Once we traveled to the pond of an employee's family, had a devotional, ate some chicken and did some bass fishing. We also went to an event on the UGA campus to see Ravi Zacharias speak. Over our Christmas break one year we played a round of golf and met at an employee's house to eat and watch "The Passion of the Christ".

Then we started thinking about something overnight, away from our families. Camp Tugalo was the perfect fit. Basically, it's cabins on the lake that are heated and air conditioned, that will sleep around 14 or so. There's a place to build a fire on the side of the lake and a dining hall to use if we need it. We've had up to 8 take the trip and as few as 5. This year we'll have 6.

The first year we stayed all weekend long through Sunday morning and had a guest speaker. Since then we have changed it to leaving on Saturday evening or Saturday around noon. We also switched to watching dvd's from Tommy Nelson's men's conference and other messages from various people in place of a live speaker.

The speaker that we invited the first year was a great start. He told the testimony of his failed marriage ending in divorce. She had an affair with another guy and ended up leaving him because of it. As he painted the story, you began to really feel sorry for him and disgust for her. Some of the guys in our group had either been through a divorce or had similar experiences and could relate. Then he shocked us all. He said

"you know what I learned during that time, and realize now: while she made the decisions she made and will have to live with them, I made a lot of decisions that led her to make those decisions. I wasn't loving her the way I was supposed to, although I wasn't abusing my wife mentally, physically, and emotionally and not loving her as I should. She left me because I wasn't giving her what I should have been giving her. So although it wasn't abuse, it was certainly neglect. Yes, she made the choice to cheat and leave, but I made choices too".

So here we were thinking how foolish she was, and he was admitting his sin in not leading his wife properly. He wasn't saying what she did wasn't wrong, clearly it was. He was just admitting that he wasn't innocent in the situation. The men in that room and myself needed to hear that. People tend to think that whatever happens is not their fault. We ended up during that retreat around the campfire talking about ways that we could better understand and serve our family. For those who were single, they learned the importance of starting out right. For those who were divorced they were able to look beyond the sin of their spouse and own up (man up) to their own failures. You see, we are all screw ups in some way, the question is, "Will we admit it and learn from it or will we stick our head in the sand and pretend otherwise?".

Each trip tends to have it's own flavor based on the people who go, the topics discussed, the food we eat, even with the weather we get, which looks like rain for this trip, so much for the fire and horseshoes. While each is different, a lot remains the same: we are still men who are sinners in need of God's mercy and grace, and are called, commissioned, and commanded by God to lead our families.

This song by Sanctus Real shows why we take our annual retreats. Yes, we hang out and have a good time, play some sports and eat some food, but beyond that we remind ourselves of who we are and who God has called us to be.I really enjoy this song and plan on playing it at our retreat this year. It's the cry of wife for her husband to lead, the cry of the children for their dad to lead, and then the prayer of the dad to God to lead him in leading his family. I don't know about you, but I can relate fully.



Here's the story behind the song by the lead singer Matt Hammitt if you're interested.